


Before

by angelbabe_cj



Series: Holiday Prompt Ficlets 2015 [8]
Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: BDSM, F/F, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Post-Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 20:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12196971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelbabe_cj/pseuds/angelbabe_cj
Summary: Before the events of S1 Jessica and Trish had a relationship. Part of that relationship involved Jessica taking orders from Trish. What happened with Killgrave seemed to have, understandably, removed Jessica's taste for it. Until the itch started.





	Before

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Indybaggins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indybaggins/gifts).



> Everything seen in-fic is totally consensual, but the fic adheres to the canon for S1.
> 
> If there are other tags you think I should add please let me know.
> 
> This is another older work I finally got beta read!
> 
> Indybaggins asked for Jessica/Trish, "You’re the only one I trust to do this.". Initially I panicked a tiny bit because I've not written much femmeslash before and nothing in the fandom. So the first idea I came up with was kind of vague. But I wrote it down. Only for a second idea to tumble onto the top of it part way through. I've ended up writing them both. This is the second idea. The other is the previous one in this series.

They had done this before. Not just before but  _ before _ . Before _him_. Before Luke. Before they split up. Not always, and not initially, but after a while.

She’d found it calming somehow. Centering. 

People didn’t expect it if they knew her. The people in the clubs hadn’t known her when she’d first been exploring; not known the disaster of her life or how much control she lacked. But it hadn’t mattered to them. And that was okay for a while.

Then Trish – she gave a shit. Trish did. And of course Jessica did too. Not that she admitted it aloud much. 

It had been accidental at first. Them kissing. For about twelve seconds. Until it wasn’t. The order had been accidental too. Her reaction had been automatic and fully voluntary. 

That was the point.

She was stubborn and contrary and felt the need to prove everybody wrong. And yet giving up her freedom voluntarily and temporarily had alway felt good. 

Before.

Then  _ he _ had appeared. And his inescapable orders. No safe word. No volunteering. Just obligation and muddying of something she’d held so private and close.

He’d found out, of course. Eventually. Asked her a question she had to answer. Left her violated again. Made her perform a particularly fucked up and broken parody of what she really wanted (not that she wanted it from him). One that made her want to claw her own skin off. And she could have done it too. She had the strength to do it... but she didn’t, because she was stubborn and he would only have stopped her.

She hadn’t wanted to for a long time. It was poisoned for her. Not sex. Not in general. Yes it had taken a little while, but that was still a lot of fun. Just not like that.

And then there was an itch in the back of her mind. Nothing like his orders. Just a little twitch of longing, of desire to feel that particular brand of freedom again.

She couldn’t ask Luke. For one thing he was gone from her life, of that she was sure. For another there was no way he had positive memories about this in the way she did. She had created them before  _ he  _ came into the picture. She could barely believe she was considering it again herself.

And she was considering it because the itch got stronger all the time.

Until she couldn’t drink it away and she went to a club she’d been to several times years ago. Where she could trust the staff to keep order and the people not to be too skeevy. 

She had found someone she thought she could trust for long enough for a scene. Only for her to bite out her safe word the moment after the first order. It was followed but she couldn’t continue. She had run out, unable to try again. Unable to do anything but find a bottle and fall into her empty bed.

It had scared the itch quiet for a few weeks, but it wouldn’t be quietened for very long and Jessica had had to face the inevitable. 

There was only one person who she could possibly see doing this for her. Eventually she had admitted that to herself.

She had made her way up by her usual route and knocked on the window.

It took a few minutes for Trish to appear. Jessica shifted from foot to foot as she waited. Restless without the security of whiskey in her blood. She knew there was no chance of this if she wasn’t sober. Or as sober as she got these days.

When Trish appeared she swallowed and dropped to her knees, holding her palms open and empty just above her thighs. Her head was up but her gaze was down.

“Jessica?” Trish asked as she opened the door. She was surprised, and nervous. It had been a long time since the last time. 

“I need this, Trish,” she said, looking up into Trish’s eyes. “I know we’re not… not anymore, but I… You’re the only one I trust to do this, Trish,” she said, hating the pleading note in her voice, but knowing it would help her case. No matter how unintended it was.

Trish was looking at her in a way that made her feel so exposed. But she bore it for once.

“We need to talk about this before I agree,” she said after a quiet examination. “If I agree.”

It wasn’t a no. And that made a curl of tension in Jessica release. Maybe they could do this again. Maybe the itch would stop. Maybe she would sometimes sleep without whiskey again. Maybe this before could become now too. Become after. And they could become them. 

That was a thought she hadn’t had in a long time.

She rose and followed Trish into the appartment.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [Coconutice22](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Coconutice22/pseuds/Coconutice22) for the beta.


End file.
